Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize