508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
