id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
