goodnight i made you a song goodbye
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
