I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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