Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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