too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
