After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
