So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
