Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Randomize
