My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
