She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
