we're blogging at a bar
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
