i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize