oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
