my soul wont recognize me after tonight
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
