I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize