Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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