The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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