so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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