Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
