do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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