It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
