I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
