so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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