Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
