I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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