I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
