Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
