I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
jump out the window naked night went bad
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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