I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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