Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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