so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
