you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
