yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
is wine microwaveable?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize