Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Boobs are out for the taking
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
