So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
