she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
