erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
