the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
All I want is dick and wine.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
