We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
