Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
