You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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