She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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