yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
