The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
