Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
