I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
