I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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