Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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