I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
