Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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