So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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