oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize