It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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