I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
4 words: hood of his car
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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